How I’ve Learned To Love My Scars

My scars used to define me. The self-inflicted wounds were impossible to miss. They screamed failure, weakness, and pain. They fueled the lies I told myself and believed from the world around me:

Bad Wife.
Bad Mom.

Even as the wounds started to physically heal, I lamented their permanent existence on my body and in my life. I questioned my future and if I’d ever fully recover.

Five years later, the change that’s occurred since those dark days isn’t solely the physical healing, but the lessons my Savior has taught me about Himself. Full recognition of my weakness was the only way to see His full strength. What I believed of myself couldn’t have been farther from the Truth.

I said loser, and He said LOVED.
I said worthless, and He said WORTH IT
I said judged, He said CHOSEN.

The ‘fully recover’ I had in my mind years ago can’t possibly compare to what God’s done, and continues to do, in my life. In facing our current challenges, I heard these words from my husband the other day, ‘Maybe you went through what you went through so you could help our little girl know she’s not alone. No one can advocate for her, like you.’

It hurts my heart to even write that, as no one wants to see their children hurt, but if that’s what the Lord is redeeming through me, it’s worth it. This has stirred in my heart of late, and as I’ve struggled to write, this very topic came up as the prompt for #livefreeThursday. So here I am, putting this out there, that perhaps God will use it to touch your heart today.
These scars that came from my own hurt and weakness
Your scars may look entirely different from mine, but I know you have them, everyone does. Maybe you’re currently in the pit. God has a plan for your scars, for your pain. Release them to Him, and He will show you His strength.

Posted in Encouragement, Victory | 6 Comments

Embracing This Roller Coaster Called Life

Last week we went to Disney World and had an amazing time!
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As we rode different rides and especially the roller coasters, my daughter certainly stood out as my thrill seeker. Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she approached every new ride, bouncing through the line, and squealing with excitement as the wind flew through her hands, raised as high as they could go.

My son’s steps were heavier as he stepped with caution around every new turn. The unknown brought him anxiety and he held tight to his daddy’s hand, making sure he was always close. On every ride, he hid his head in my husband’s lap, so even the rides he loved, we were never quite sure until the end.

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I’ve found a lot of life lesson in that this week, reflecting on how I approach life. When life is unpredictable, and even scary, as the last couple of weeks have been, what is my default? I’ve operated with an anxious mindset most of my life. I seem more open to the adventure when, even subconsciously, I think I know what’s happening next. The picture of my son clinging tight to my husband makes me smile, because when things got scary for him for in his adventure, he knew where to find comfort. He knew his daddy would protect him. I love that!

Because of God’s Word and the ride we’ve shared thus far, I know God is with me, and the peace He has given me in the last couple of weeks, again, shows His faithfulness that I can trust Him in the unknown (sometimes unwanted) adventure and cling tight when I’m scared. Please don’t read faithful here as easy and according to my plans, because that never happens. Ever. I should probably take that as a hint and stop making plans, right? Yeah, that probably won’t happen 😉

“O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise, you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.”  Psalm 139:1-4 (NIV)

He knows me completely, and He knows you, too. I want to challenge and encourage you to walk in the confidence that God knows your path of life, your next step, and He is riding next to you. Today I can walk forward knowing this: God knows what’s around that dark curve, He knows what awaits me at the bottom of the 50 ft. drop. He made the ride and He is a trustworthy architect.

I’ll leave you with some cute little pirates who definitely make every day an adventure.

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Posted in Encouragement, Family Life | Tagged , | 4 Comments

In The Midst of Trials, I Will Still Trust God’s Faithfulness

When I open up the Bible, I’m grateful that the Lord speaks to me through His Word, though I’m not gonna lie, sometimes I’d like to close the book and ask for another message. Such is the case today.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 2:2-4

I’m in my second day of processing a phone call I received on Wednesday from my Dermatologist. This was not the good, ‘your biopsy came back clear, we’ll see you in a year’ kind, but rather, ‘you have early-stage melanoma on your back‘ kind. Now, I am covered head to toe with freckles, so I have a healthy concern of what the Dr. might find, but I assure you that the reality of those words is something completely different.

As I’m on my journey of proclaiming God’s faithfulness and glory, I will not stop here.

This peace I feel can only be from Him.

Please don’t hear me say that everything is magical and I have no anxieties, because I’m still human, after all. I am still struggling, but when I turn my eyes to the Lord with praise and gratitude for who He is, and what He’s done, I am able to remember the hope for which I’m called through Him.

Jesus is the Blessing

Jesus is the blessing. Jesus is the hope I have. He is faithful and worthy of all honor and praise. My Dr. has a plan and is confident that we caught this early. No matter what happens on this journey, I pray my eyes stay on the Lord.

Going to the Dermatologist is a doctor’s appointment that is often overlooked. It’s out of sight, especially if you’ve never had a problem with your skin. I urge you to go get checked out. You never know if it could save your life. Please share this, and I’d appreciate your prayers.

Posted in Encouragement | Tagged , , | 1 Comment